NYE - woohoo!

I decided that I would rather spend new years home by myself, eating take out food and reading a book, than going out and trying to force myself to appear as though I am having fun. Some people would think this is really really sad, but I think it's awesome! I might even clean up the house, and throw things away. While I literally clear out my physical space, I will metaphorically clear out the bullshit, anxiety, and worry from my mind and heart.

...or I'll go out and get drunk and embarrass myself in public, only time will tell.

Some things change, other things stay the same

I pick the worst guys, and I cry when people hurt my feelings. These things stay the same. I hope one day they will change.

Some people care too much, some people believe in others when they shouldn't... my error is hope. I become too hopeful. I hope for the best, even when signs and red flags are pointing elsewhere. This is not solely a relationship related error, but I make it all over the place. I hope that work will get better, I hope that this or that friend will be there for me, I hope that I'll be a better person after teacher training.

So, that's all. If you expected me to go on about how I am going to try to change, ha! Wrong! Like I said, some things stay the same.

Corporate bullshit... who needs it?!

So work is going okay, I really can't complain. August is the slowest month here in the research realm of Discovery, so I have a lot of free time to plan trips, chat on AIM, and stalk people on Facebook. Trying not to do the last one so much. So- even though things are going okay, I don't love working for the man. I am going to try to save up some money and go away to Barkan training next time it's offered, in about 4 months.

I was discouraged from doing this last time for a few reasons. The last session started on June 21, and I considered it, but was scared of quitting my job and having no money and no insurance. I was also kind of tentatively planning another summer activity, that didn't pan out anyway. Also, on the topic of money, if I became certified to teach yoga and taught full time, or had another part time job and taught yoga part time, as many instructors do, I would make less money than I make now. I was also worried about teaching. I am comfortable speaking to a group, but I am worried that I will not be a great teacher. I guess we will see!

If I complete Barkan training, I will be certified by the yoga alliance. I could move out west, or teach on cruise ship, or stay in NYC.

It's just something I am thinking about now. I'll have to save up a bunch of money and make some sacrifices, but I am really excited about the possibilities! Even if I go through training and decide not to persue a career in yoga, it will be five incredible yoga and learning filled weeks.


LATER THE SAME DAY UPDATE:
nooooo- the next teacher training isn't until June 2010! :(

Relationship Advice

I just received some really good relationship advice from a very wise lady who I relate to very much. She has even said that I remind her of herself a few years ago, and I really think she gets me. The advice was, "don't f it up."

Thanks, Kerry. I am going to try not to.

---July update - it's been f'ed up.

I'll be rude, I'll be rude, I'll be rude

I think that if I completely abstained from cheese and alcohol, my skin would be perfectly clear..

but then, what would be the point of living?

Spring cleaning

Yes, I badly need to do some house cleaning, and I am totally planning on getting to that this weekend, but what I really need to do is clean out my cell phone. I used to have issues with drunk dialing and texting, and then it kinda went away. But I've been feeling pretty displeased lately, and I feel it coming on again. The thing is, I'm not going to. Because deep down, I like and crave the drama, and my life is indescribably boring.